Years from now you are going to open up those photo albums, or a link to the cloud, and realize you spent so much time avoiding being in pictures with your precious little babies! All because you weren’t happy with how you looked or you didn’t like what you were wearing or whatever reason you used at that moment. The reason is now forgotten and yet you are still not seen in all those memories. How would that make you feel?
This was a realization I made years ago. I looked back at pictures from parties we went to or vacations we went on and I realized I was nowhere to be found. I had tons of pictures of my husband laughing and playing with our boys. But me, I was always the one taking the picture. All because I wasn’t happy with how I looked. I can remember the moment clearly actually. I was looking back at a photo book with my kids and I realized I was barely in it. It was eye opening. From then I promised myself that I would work on this. I wanted those moments so badly to be preserved in a pretty little book we could look back on. I’m writing this post today to show you why this is so important and how we can overcome this feeling!
Avoiding The Pictures
Have you ever looked at a picture of yourself and just cringed and either ripped it up or deleted it? I can’t imagine I’m alone here. Let’s face it the camera doesn’t always capture us at our best and some pictures just need to go. I can totally understand and relate to that. The problem is we become overly critical about ourselves. We end up deleting all the pictures or we just don’t take them to begin with.
I have heard, and said, so many excuses about this. I’m just not comfortable, I don’t love how I feel, I’m trying to lose weight and don’t want to remember me at this current weight, my hair isn’t right today. I could seriously go on but who has that kind of time. We get so wrapped up in our outer self that we forget what amazing moms we are. We hide from the camera because we don’t feel perfect.
You’re Going To Regret It Later
I mentioned before that I had this realization looking back on a photo book with my kids. I realized I was barely in it and it caught me by surprise. So much so that I decided to make a change. The hardest part was when my kids realized I wasn’t in the pictures. How exactly was I going to tell my two boys that I avoided pictures with them because I didn’t like how I felt? Yea, that hit me hard also. I for sure wasn’t going to tell them that so I just said something like, “I’m not sure” and kept the conversation going.
I knew then though that I had to make a change. They are looking up to me, I am supposed to be their role model. They are learning to be confident about what they look like and who they are from me! That hit me hard, it’s a big responsibility really and I didn’t want them growing up being unhappy about their appearance. My kids don’t look at me and see all my flaws, they see me and think I’m perfect just the way I am.
It’s Not Too Late
The best part of having this change is it is never too late to make it. I want to be very clear here, it wasn’t like a switch went off and I was all of a sudden fine with how I looked in photos. I still cringe sometimes when I see them or secretly wish I didn’t have to take them. The difference is I don’t delete them and I do take them. I want to be able to look back on family moments and see me happy with my kids. I want them to be able to hold on to those books for years to come and remember all the good times we had together.
Stop avoiding the pictures. Have your husband take candid pictures of you with your kids when you’re away or even when you’re just playing a game at home. I actually love the candid pictures the most because I don’t feel self conscious when I’m taking the picture. They are so much more natural and it helps to see the genuine smile on all of our faces.
No matter what your reasons are for avoiding being in the pictures it is important to work through it. Maybe to do that you focus on self care or being more positive. If you’re really having a hard time, reach out to a friend or a mental health provider. There is nothing wrong with reaching out for help! You are for sure not in this position alone and will probably be surprised at how many of your friends and family have similar feelings! You are strong and beautiful and deserve to have these memories with your family, you just have to let it happen!
Self-love can seem like a tricky thing to accomplish and nurture, but it’s so worth the effort! If you’re ready to get started on your self-love journey, here is a FREE resource with some guided questions and a 30 day challenge!
